Tyler at advancedriskology has done it again: Posed a thought-provoking question that makes me have to stop and think. Like really think.
What are the top three priorities in your life, and why? Why are they important to you, and how do you make sure you give them the attention they deserve? What do you do if you notice you’ve been neglecting one?
My mind went in about 37 different directions: There are the self-care priorities (stretch myself figuratively, exercise–see my post wake-up-call for THAT rebalancing act, meditation); the family and friends priorities (sons, sister, nonsignificant other); the work priorities (get there on time–ha!–and be productive); the emotional priorities (give and get hugs, accept the negative emotions, reinforce optimism)–well, you get the picture. But I think he’s talking broader than that <g>.
The bigger pictures that I’m focusing on these days are divergent yet all part of the same picture: exploring my spiritual side, learning new things, having fun. What? What’s that last one doing there? How can that rank in the priority realm? Well, I’m so glad you asked.
You see, for years I didn’t really have much fun. I worked, I coped, I sleepwalked through my days, I kept moving. But I only rarely managed to have fun, to get a chance to enjoy life. That started to change a few years ago when my marriage went into a tailspin and I would do things to get out of the house, to get away from the Couch Presence. I started contradancing, which not only gave me exercise but also (and more importantly) social and physical contact. And…it was fun!
But over the last couple of years I’d noticed that my weekends were getting devoured by freelance work, and I’d get to Monday feeling grateful to go to work for the human interaction. Not a good sign. So this summer I vowed to myself that I would make sure to include fun in the schedule at least one of the weekend days (sometimes two!), be it biking with a group or kayaking with a friend or going to a festival with a date. And it has made a world of difference, has helped to remind me that life is to be enjoyed, not slogged through.
Which brings me to the learning part. Not many people take anatomy & physiology for fun (ah, there’s that word again). And I do have an end purpose for it, but at the same time I’m relishing it. It’s fascinating to learn about the human body, to discover how the parts work together. And it’s also fun to do well, as I am–boosting self-confidence never hurts, either, especially when it’s been in the terlet, as the plumber from my childhood used to call it. And whether it’s this class or others, taking courses, learning new things, has become part of my life, and studying is a priority that I schedule into my week and weekends. (My self-respect won’t let me consider the alternative–that is, getting below an A. Though last night’s test was a boot in the tuchus.)
Now, what about spirituality? It’s a charged subject, in many ways. I don’t cotton to any particular dogma, but I crave a spiritual connection, which I’m finding through meditation and yoga and exploring alternative healing options. When I don’t include these in my life, things get out of whack: I don’t sleep as well, I get overly emotional and judgmental, I forget how we are all connected (like it or not, yes, even to those Republicans). So this is a priority in my life that helps to keep everything else moving.
They all support each other, too, which helps. The strength I develop in each area then transfers to other areas. And when I’m not paying attention to one area, something comes along to give me a head bump that wakes me up, sends me back to re-establish the roots and re-engineer the balance.
Are these going to be my lifelong priorities? Shit, no! These are my priorities now, and they will remain important, but as I develop and my paths get clearer, there will be other ones that take precedence, like creating a business that lets me make a living doing what I love. But these are precursors to that point, the foundations to the rest of my life. And that’s a priority.
The Uncommon Zone 
Love what you say, love that you are making fun a priority for yourself, and love hearing from you things I’ve often thought or said about myself – the need for learning, the need to not just get through each day. Yes, yes, and yes!
Yes, true, and there are times that it can be particularly hard not to treat a day as only putting one foot in front of another. I’m working on becoming aware of those days and getting the priorities realigned. You are so full of talents that you aren’t afraid to explore, to learn from, so remember to listen to yourself!
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So your premise (in the proverbial nutshell) is about having fun, and learning interesting things?
Is life really about having fun? It doesn’t seem you have an end in mind or even a legacy you want to build in your lifetime. Having fun is important yes, but I think too many people lead lives of mindless self indulgence and do not give much towards personal development, wealth creation, wealth preservation, and philanthropy.
Such goals require a refined education, discipline, and service to others. Just my thoughts on the matter. I’ll be hanging around. =)
Devin, thanks for your comment. Sometimes the problem with nutshells is that they cover the essence, and though I can see how you reached your conclusions, they don’t represent the essence of where I’m going. I do have a number of goals, all of which involve, as you said, “a refined education, discipline, and service to others.” To get there, I’m doing far more than what my priorities in this blog seem to convey, but underlying my path are the parameters of needing to balance my life (that’s where the fun comes in–notice that I talked about having spent weekends getting to Monday having done nothing but work, definitely not a balancing act) and following my interests (such as anatomy and physiology, which is leading me toward a shift of career toward the health field). My eventual goal in the health field is essentially to be of service to others, helping people to integrate healing options into their lives so they can navigate their lives to their fullest potential. To get there, though, I need to have intermediate priorities, which is what I wrote about. And as I said, “There will be other ones that take precedence, like creating a business that lets me make a living doing what I love. But these are precursors to that point, the foundations to the rest of my life.”
Hope you do hang around and continue the dialogue. I like hearing what different people take from what I write, how their lenses affect the picture.
I see what you’re saying. I hope you can be productive in all of these areas as I know it will be quite challenging. Keep us up to date, please.
You talked about your spirituality, but I’m also curious as to your political ideologies. Perhaps a post on this would be interesting?
Devin, my political ideologies are, for this space, my own. They’re not something I care to write about at this point. I will keep your thought in mind, though.
Fair enough! Do keep it in mind for a future post. Wishing you well.